She came to me last night.

She was crying for my sake. I hate it when a pretty girl cries, whether it's her first or last time. I didn't kiss her to shut her up, not exactly. I meant it when I said I wanted to be her first. I know she'll be my last.

She was worried about hurting me at first. I told her the truth: there's no way in heaven, on earth, or in hell that she could ever hurt me. I told her I'd said I would give my life for her, and I meant that too. I chose her. I'd do anything for her. Anything.

I didn't think things would go beyond a kiss, but you know how it is. One thing leads to another. I tried not to push her, to let her take the lead, but she was so... well, not "hot" in the usual sense, although she is that. But her flame burns white. Pure. She was passionate, but in the way that one of Karen's saints was when they went into ecstasies. How could a monk boy like me hold a girl back from catching the Spirit?

For a virgin, Missie sure had good instincts. Once she was done kissing the life out of my mouth, she started exploring other territory. Soft kisses on my eyelids. A tongue tip wiggling slowly across my cheekbones. Gentle nips and nuzzles to my jaw. She started sucking on my earlobe, and I just about lost my mind right there. I was on total autopilot, untucking her blouse before I realized what I was doing.

She shoved my hands away, and I thought I'd gone too far. But after she said "No," she followed with, "Let me." Then I saw her hands trembling as she unbuttoned that sucker as fast as she could. Her gaze fixed on mine. Fire in her eyes, those pretty cheeks blushing. Lips swollen from kisses. Panting. Trembling. Gasping. Gorgeous.

I helped her unbutton the sleeves, pull off the blouse. She balled it up and threw it on the floor. Whoa. Didn't expect that from neat little 'neechan. Not that I was gonna piss and moan about it when I was getting an eyeful of white satin underwire for my troubles. I didn't take it off, not right away. Just returned her little favors. Found out where she liked a nuzzle, or just tongue, where she liked just a scrape of teeth. Where a lick followed by a blow would give her goosebumps. Let her body do the talking. Before long, there were two little goosebumps in particular that were standing straight out, and I don't know about you, but when it comes to beautiful sights, that kind of thing there is right up in my Top Ten.

Or was, until she reached behind her own back and unhooked it.

Good Lord. Now my hands were trembling. I felt like I was profaning her when I put my sweaty palms on that velvet skin of hers, but she just gasped and sighed and whimpered for more. I pinched those two little pebbles, rolled them around a bit, savored the moan she let slip when I flicked my fingernails against them. I was going to slide the bra off slowly, but she decided about that enough was enough and whipped the damned thing off herself, throwing it into the same corner as her shirt. She's got killer aim, my little Missie.

No worship ever felt as divine as kissing those sweet little breasts of hers. Never heard a Buddha statue make delicious little noises like the ones she made, that's for damned sure. That pretty voice murmuring my name, telling me it felt so good. Reaching behind my hospital gown to untie it for me. Her hands sometimes fluttering when I did something that made her lose her concentration. That part really drove me wild, and I started doing some moaning of my own.

"'neechan... 'n-n-neechan..."

"Arashi."

"Huh?"

"I've got a name. Use it."

"Anything for you. Arashi."

Little Missie was good at giving orders. Fine by me. Nothing turns my crank like a girl who knows just what she wants. You don't grow up in a monastery without learning to submit, either. Also fine by me, if this was what it got me.

I don't remember when she got off her chair and onto the bed. She must have done it carefully, because I don't remember feeling any pain. All I remember is that by the time we had untied my gown and were struggling to get it off, she got frustrated and just yanked the damn thing up to my chest, and before I knew it I could feel her straddling me, and I could feel something hot and wet pressing up against my stomach, and by that time I was chanting mantras to myself just so I wouldn't blow my wad right then and there.

I knew she could feel me sticking up behind her. I could feel the friction when she bent down to kiss me again, and I had to force myself not to rub up against her on purpose. Guess there was enough blood still going to my brain for me to worry that she might get scared or pissed off or... I don't know what, but that it'd make her stop. I didn't want her to stop. I didn't want her to want me to stop.

I was just about to open my mouth to apologize when I felt her lift her hips up and move downwards until she was sitting on my thighs. I reached out to take her hips in my hands, still thinking she would push my hands away. Instead, she reached forward and took ahold of my dick, and I gasped and bucked upwards without meaning to. I thought I was on the mend after that beatdown I got, but I guess I was still pretty effed up, because I jerked back down with a hiss, wincing at the pain in the rest of my body.

"Are you all right?"

"U...un..." It was all I could do to nod my head. Hell, it was all I could do to remember my own name.

Good thing my hands were still working, because they reached out to hers and showed her what to do. How to touch me. What I liked. What would make me do my own sadass imitation of those pretty little noises she'd just been making.

She didn't look scared or grossed out. She didn't look like she was looking at anything at all. She had a glazed look in her eyes, like she was sleepwalking during a really cool dream. I put my hands back on her hips and let her jerk me slowly for a while, then put them back on hers to get her to speed up. I figured it'd be best to get my rocks off quickly so I wouldn't have to worry about... well, you know. Hurting her.

But then she threw me for another loop and stopped. Took her hands away. Dammit. I needed to get off, but I didn't want to force her. Shit. Finally scared her off, Sorata, you dumbass.

Lifted up again until she was upright on her knees. Undid her skirt. Pulled it off and threw it to the side. White cotton panties. Little white satin rosebud in the front. Oh, Missie. So beautiful. Took those off too, threw them in the corner. Totally naked now.

Holy fucking shit.

"You don't have t-" I said. She shut me up with a finger over my lips.

"I want to," she said. Creased her brow, frowned for a sec. "Do you have any...?"

"W-wallet," I said. Barely. "Drawer. Side table." She cocked her head, one eyebrow up. "Hey, better safe than sorry." I couldn't help grinning at her. She grinned back. Phew.

She turned, reached into the drawer. Fumbled around until she found what she was looking for. Handed it to me. I couldn't make a fist by then, but somehow I managed to get the thing open and roll it on. She watched me do it. Paid really close attention. I guess she thought she might wanna know how for next time. Sasuga 'neechan. Never misses a trick.

Oh God. Then. Oh, God help me. She put my hands back on her hips. Fingers on that alabaster ass. She started to sink down slowly. Onto me. Mother of shit, it was really gonna happen.

I could see her face squinch with the pain. She was gritting her teeth, trying so hard not to cry out that I could see a sweat breaking out. Nothing harshes a boner like hurting the woman you love, and I was all set to call it off just so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But she just sat there, hot and soft and all around me, waiting till it stopped stinging before she ohmygodshejustclenchedherpussymusclesaroundme and lifted up her thighs and drew herself up a bit, then came back down.

She stopped wincing after a while and started moaning. Nothing like before. Deeper. Like a woman and not a girl. I let her set the pace, cupping her in my hands but not moving her, letting her angle herself just right. Letting her ride me. Watching her face, her eyes, her body as she moved. Listening to the sounds she made, the sounds we made.

So beautiful.

I could feel her start to move faster. Normally I would've helped get things going more, but I didn't want to make her worry about me hurting myself again. So instead I just put my thumb on that little red rosebud of hers and started stroking it, just a little bit. Just to see her gasp and thrust up against it, telling me to work it harder without saying a word. Who was I to disobey?

I worked it. I let her thrust and buck and ride me. Harder and faster, starting up the mantras in my head again so I wouldn't come before she did. Those sticky-sweet moans and cries and gasps that kept getting louder weren't helping me any either, and I knew I couldn't last much longer. I put one hand on her lower back to steady her and one right above her pubes, trying to help her along.

Arashi... so beautiful...

I don't remember saying that out loud to her. I'd told her she was a babe so many times it was practically a reflex by now. But I guess she heard me, because next thing I knew she was looking in my eyes and mouthing I love you at me and it was a good thing that happened when it did, because the next thing I knew she made this - this SOUND like an animal and tears rolled out of her eyes and she gushed all over my belly and clenched around my cock again and again and again, and I must have been making some noise myself before too because my throat felt totally raw when I finally let out a yell myself and came so hard I thought I'd sprained my balls, and then she collapsed on me, panting, still connected, and we were hugging and kissing each other and both crying and I don't remember if we used words to tell each other how we felt, but by that point we didn't need to, because we each knew how the other felt even if the words didn't come, and that was all that mattered.

I don't remember what happened next for the life of me. I guess we must have come apart and thrown out the condom and picked up her clothes and stuff and settled down to bag some Zs, because that's what you do, right? But that's not what comes back to my mind now. All I can remember thinking was a thing Karen told me once, when she was quoting some sermon from that book the Christians have.

"I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last."

That's what it said, I think. I couldn't pick out Alpha and Omega for you on a bet, but I guess they mean first and last. I don't know if I was Alpha to Missie or Omega, or if she was the first or last to me. But right then, just for that night, even though I didn't know yet she'd be gone by the morning, we were each other's only.

END